Day 21: A Quarrelsome Wife – Proverbs 21

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“It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” Proverbs 21:9 (NLT)

“It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.” Proverbs 21:19 (NLT)

These 2 verses are pretty clear, it would be better to live in an attic or in the desert than to live with an angry, argumentative and complaining wife. How easy would it be for me to skip over these verses, because I don’t feel I’m a quarrelsome wife. And how easy it would be for me to just think I can make this a lesson for others. Instead I am choosing to meditate on these verses today and am asking the Lord to reveal the areas in my life that need attention, correction and healing.

Anger, an argumentative attitude and complaining are all symptoms of deeper issues. I may be completely frustrated and angry about the sink full of dishes and the messy counters and am not sorry about complaining to everyone about it! When the reality is that we just finished dinner, I’m actually just really tired because I’ve not been taking care of myself and I’ve said yes to, to many other things. And as a result, my husband and kids get an angry attitude and want to avoid me at all costs.

Comparison and unrealistic or undisclosed expectations can lead to an argumentative attitude, anger and much complaining. I must be aware and not allow my self to compare my life to others or to fairy tales. I also need to be real and honest with my expectations, after all, David isn’t a mind reader.

My heart’s desire is that my home is a haven of rest and a sanctuary of peace first and foremost for my husband and my boys. I’ve learned over the years that this doesn’t mean everything is always perfectly neat and in order. It’s doesn’t mean that every pillow is perfectly placed on each couch. Although cleanliness and order play a part in peace, it’s really more about the atmosphere, the conversations and the freedom to just be yourself.

Dear Lord, search my heart today. Reveal areas of my life that cause me to look to other things, to compare and to expect selfish things. Help me to be a wife who honors, loves and encourages my husband. Show me areas of unhealth in my life that need healing, areas that cause my life to be out of line with your plans and purposes for my life. Amen.

What is God speaking to you today through Proverbs 21? Share your thoughts in the comment section below or join the conversation on our Journaling Through Proverbs Facebook Group.

5 Quick Marriage Tips

Picture of Stasia and David Giles

Happy Anniversary to my husband, David, of 21 years! 21 years of doing life together! Two kids, two guide dogs, four pound puppies, one unofficially adopted son, four homes and four ministry positions. 7,665 days of loving, learning, living, growing, sharing, and laughing!  Every moment of our life together, the good, the bad and the ugly, has brought us to here, where we are today and it’s right where I want to be!

One of our favorite things to do in ministry is pre-marriage counseling.

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